In hope of setting a new and more powerful direction, President Mohammad Khatami announced today the new CEO for the Axis of Evil as Brainiac of Planet Colu. Know best for his leadership of the now fallen Legion of Doom, Brainiac was responsible for many nearly completed apocalyptic projects during his reign.
Khatami proudly introduced the new A.O.E. leader to a Iranian standing room only crowd. After a small celebration and stoning of elderly women, Brainiac spoke to the crowd outlining his plans for the future. In his speech, he spoke of alliances with small countries, expanding forces by lowing the draft age from 8 to "can you hold this gun?", boosting moral and increasing conditions for our military and building a giant shrink ray to use on the U.S. Capital. Brainiac admitted that these steps will not be completed overnight, but he has great aspirations for the Taliban, Al Qaeda and entire Axis of Evil.
Sources close to President Mohammad Khatami tell us Brainiac was not the first choice for leadership. Among names dropped over the last few months was Lex Luther, a co-worker of Brainiac during the prime years of the Legion of Doom. Though the negotiations lasted for several weeks. Luther's recent lack of "evil" presence was his downfall. It appears Luther has been living in Sandstall, Nebraska for the last 8 years teaching soccer to 11 year olds. Our source reports "although his team performs badly and wins few games, they felt that was still not evil enough to impress the powers that be."
