Bigger Breasts by Phone!

http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/waiwai/0409/0923ringtones.html

Hideto Tomabechi -- who first made headlines in Japan almost a decade ago after he cured brainwashed members of the AUM Shinrikyo doomsday cult that unleashed deadly sarin gas on the Tokyo subway system -- claims to have developed a tune for ring tones that promises to increase the breast measurements of those who listen to it.

And Tomabechi's brainchild for better busts has boomed, with chest challenged chicks swarming to transfer data to their own phones.

"I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped," says Chieri Nakayama, a 19-year-old pin-up model, tells Shukan Gendai. "But, incredibly, my 87-centimeter bust grew to 89 centimeters! It was awesome!"

Mobile phone ring tone tunes, or chakumero as they're called in Japanese, are almost an integral part of the arsenal of Japan's tens of millions of cellular phone users. Each of the big phone companies operates sites where their customers can for a few hundred yen per month download songs they use in place of the blase ring tones pre-installed in the phones. Normally, people select hit songs or TV themes, but Tomabechi's tit tune has hit a raw nerve somewhere, attracting an almost unimaginable 10,000-plus downloads in the first week it was made available, despite the numerous titters.

"Most would think it's a lie, but the techniques involved in the process have been known for some time and are the result of research I carried out in the '80s and '90s," Tomabechi tells Shukan Gendai. "I use sounds that make the brain and body move unconsciously. It's a technique involving subliminal effects."

Tomabechi claims that techniques exist to provoke movement in a certain part of the brain that reacts to sounds and light.

"It's a part of cognitive science. I suppose you could call it a kind of 'positive brainwashing,'" he says. "Sound waves travel in patterns that can be properly re-played."

It's an old adage that many illnesses are all in the mind, but if the counselor's claims are correct, the key to having a huge set of breasts could be the same. Tomabechi says he's already got plans on the drawing board for ring tones aimed at improving memory, increasing attractiveness for the opposite sex, making hair sprout and quitting cigarettes.

Even if the rockmelon ring tone doesn't prove to be as effective as its inventor claims, what can't be denied is its success on the chakumero charts.

"We offer loads of chakumero for sale at 300 yen a month and the tune promising huge breasts would have to be in our top 10 at least. It's doing far better than we ever expected," Yuichi Tsujimoto, a spokesman for Mediaseek, which offers Tomabechi's tune online, tells Shukan Gendai. "We haven't done any advertising for it, so I suppose the tune's success has come about through word of mouth. We've even received mail from one user who said they listened to the tune every night before going to sleep and it made her tits bigger."

What comment can I possibly add to this? :banana
 
Screw that, they need to make a ringtone that transforms you into a ninja. I'd rather be a ninja than have huge breasts.

Hmmm, that is interesting though.
 
Originally posted by mountaindud@Sep 29, 2004 @ 12:38 AM

Screw that, they need to make a ringtone that transforms you into a ninja. I'd rather be a ninja than have huge breasts.

Hmmm, that is interesting though.

[post=119977]Quoted post[/post]​

Why not both? You can be a big-breasted ninja, which will of course confuse and distract your opponents.
 
Originally posted by mountaindud@Sep 29, 2004 @ 12:38 AM

Screw that, they need to make a ringtone that transforms you into a ninja. I'd rather be a ninja than have huge breasts.

Hmmm, that is interesting though.

[post=119977]Quoted post[/post]​


HELL YEAH!

:lol: :thumbs-up:

He's probably scouring the internet for that ringtone even as we type. ;)

Yeah so? :blush:
 
Originally posted by Alexvrb@Sep 29, 2004 @ 01:58 AM

Why not both? You can be a big-breasted ninja, which will of course confuse and distract your opponents.

[post=119981]Quoted post[/post]​


Too much dead or alive for you...
 
Originally posted by Gear@Sep 29, 2004 @ 08:52 AM

Too much dead or alive for you...

[post=119998]Quoted post[/post]​

Ahem, I think you kind of glanced over that one too quick. I said ninja. That's why they'd be confused as well as distracted.
 
Ahem, I think you kind of glanced over that one too quick.

I'm no DOA expert, but I think you glanced over the DOA backstory too quick. :rolleyes:

Besides, it should be obvious. Ayane fights all the time, reputedly flips out and kills people, and is, no question about it, a mammal. :banana
 
I was referring to a comment Dud made. See, Ayane is a Kunoichi. Mountaindud wouldn't be a Kunoichi. I think. So if HE had big breasts and ninja skills, he'd end up with some pretty confused opponents. Plus he'd wear "The Bro" of Seinfeld fame. Or was it the "Manssiere"?
 
Here's a question: If a girl listens to the ringtone backwards, will her breasts shrink? :blink:

I want to ask Des if she's heard about this. :D

I bet he's working on one for penis enlargement right now. Think he'll release a CD eventually?
 
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