Originally posted by mal@Jul 30, 2004 @ 10:43 AM
I'd really appreciate it if we could drop the "parents need to do this" and "parents don't do that" crap. Not all parents are like that.
Gross generalisations from either side of this arguement don't help one bit.
Yes, not all parents fail. Hell, most parents must do right, or we'd be seeing far more stories like this. And granted, this story is of a 17 year old killing a kid, in the US he would have been legaly able to obtain the M rated game. But still, it would've taken years and years of exposure to extreme violence to make someone like that. He was likely already messed up in the head before ever playing any violent games or seeing any violent movies. Where the parental responsibility comes in is, why didn't they see the early effects that violent entertainment had on their son? You know, when he was 12 or so? It comes down to that people want to believe everything is allright nomatter what, and when suddenly, their 17 year old son smashes in a 14 year old's skull with a claw hammer, "Our son is a good boy, we could never see him doing something like this..." They don't remember the strange thrill he got when he saw the grisly murder scenes in some movie like Se7en, or even something like him mistreating the family dog.
And of course, it gets worse. Even if a kid's parents notice the strange behavior early on, they don't get the right treatment. "Oh, lets try Ritalin, that'll do the trick." Nobody realizes that all that'll do is numb his mind for a few years, and then have the same negative development happen when he's older. Hopefuly, being older, he'll be able to control his violent desires, but it doesn't take much to push someone to let them loose.
I dunno. I think I may be rambling now.
All I do know is, you get the "gross generalization" of "parents need to do this" because the problem has developed in our society largely as a whole. The TV is not a babysitter, and neither is the PS2, computer, or internet. Most parents do their "best" and try to know what their kids are into, but too many fail or just don't care. If, as a whole, parents started taking more interest in what their kids were into, if those parents who don't care took just a little interest while those that do care took even greater interest, part of the problem would be solved.
But lets get real about one thing, you could give every 10 year old out there a copy of Manhunt and that wouldn't be the problem. It isn't the exposure to violent entertainment that causes the problem, it is that the kids have been made succeptable to it.
When I was 6 years old, my favorite thing in the world was Transformers. I could name every Autobot in the exact order that they would "ROLL OUT!" of the Ark. Starscream was my hero, because not only was he bad, but by plotting Megatron's demise he was the baddest of the bad. My parents encouraged my TF fandom, bought me the toys and comics, etc. Now, TF was on at 5:30 on the channel I watched it on. Right before that, they showed GI Joe. I was not allowed watching GI Joe. My mom simply said "No, you're not to watch that," and as a kid, I didn't raise too much fuss, there were other shows on at the same time (like Welcome to Pooh Corner on Disney Channel) that I could watch. What I later learned was, my mom made that judgement call because while Transformers was about giant robots fighting, GI Joe was humans fighting other humans. Apparently robotic violence was okay, but she didn't want me seeing people shooting at one another. When I later got into Thundercats and Silverhawks, they were okay because they were humans (or human-like characters) fighting monsters. Even Centurions were okay, because the bad guys were part machine. But GI Joe was too realistic for her.
Now, I really don't think me watching GI Joe as a 6 year old (instead of now, getting to see the DVD's 20 years later) would have caused me to become a warped, violent teenager. But that isn't the point. What if, instead of GI Joe, the issue had been about watching movies like Se7en (I was older when this came out), Silence of the Lambs (which I was also not allowed to watch for several years), Fight Club, or even The Matrix? Give a young kid unfiltered access to this type of entertainment, and then don't spend time with them to teach them right from wrong and you have created the monster.
Now compare me to my 12 year old sister. She's had unfiltered access to movies like those. Hell, she's seen far, far worse. With my mom gone (and stuck in bed for several years before that) and my dad working long hours, it has fallen on me and my 18 year old little sister (the 21 year old little sister lives on campus most of the time, but her too when she's home) to moniter what she watches. And while we have set some limits (albeit rather high limits, she's not allowed to watch anything I own X- or un-rated, like Terror Firmer or Vulgar, but we rarely stop her from watching R rated stuff, I think Kill Bill might've been one of the only ones we've stopped her from watching, for now), we're not really worried about her watching stuff like that. Why? Because she has been raised in an environment where she has learned what is right and wrong early on.
The biggest key to the problem isn't the violent entertainment itself, it is the lack of a family structure where the kids learn early on what is right and wrong. We have created a culture where both parents must work, if both parents are even there, and the kids pretty much raise themselves. It isn't "the parents' fault" but it is the fault of a lack of parental involvement. And then you get right down to it, and it is the fault of the culture we have created.
As much as I hate to say it, we need to get back into a culture where "mom stays home, dad works." Or at least get it where "mom gets off work the same time school lets out."
When my dad's paycheck was becoming not enough for six to live on, and my mom decided to start working, she got a job as a teacher's aid in the special ed class at my littlest sister's school. Before she had me, she'd been a nurse. Before her cancer came back, she'd renewed her nursing license and was going to take a couple of refresher courses at the nearby community college. She was thinking about getting a job as a school nurse. A job that would let her go home about the same time her youngest kid was getting out of school. She believed she needed to be home for my youngest sister.
All too often, kids in kindergarden or first grade are already what we used to call "latch-key kids."
Okay, I'll stop rambling now.