Am I like the only person who never has any problems with Microsoft programs?
Probably not, but then again most people who "never have any problems" with Microsoft (or Linux, or BSD, or MacOS...) do one or more of the following:
1) Only use one or two programs that don't really make extensive use of the OS or hardware
2) Only ever use one program for a particular function, and thereby lack a basis for qualitative comparison (e.g. I can scarcely stand IE's performance for some things after having grown accustomed to Phoenix/Firebird)
3) Ignore minor bugs because hey, everything's got a bug or two, right?
4) Regularly encounter various problems, but learn enough to deal with them effectively enough that they become trivial
5) Have good enough luck to not run into the (rare) severe brain damages lurking in untidy corners (FWIW, I'm only running Gentoo instead of XP right now because I manaed to fail this one, and I'm sure Gentoo is hiding a few also)
6) Exclusively run mature feature-frozen software that is still actively fixed
Basically, no one who's being honest is likely to tell you that all MS software is horrible, it's just that there's often better stuff (or at least a vastly better value, for e.g. Office) out there, paired with the idea that MS should produce the best software because they have the most money to throw at the problem, so I suspect there's sort of a quiet resentment that builds up.