Looking for some ideas...

Cloud121

Member
Hey guys, I'm stumped on my fanfic. I don't really know where to continue to. I got a few characters showing up soon, and I need a good way to implement them. I'll give a list of characters introduced so far, and and a couple that have yet to show up:

Dylan (myself :D )

Cloud (DUH! :D :bow )

Naomi (My former love interest)

Mika (Soon to be love interest :D Think Ayane from DOA2, only wearing Rika's outfit, and with red hair :drool: )

Paige (Big surprise coming up for her.... :p )

Rudo (That little scuffle between him and I is really the only time he does anything)

Soon to be:

Rolf :bow

Wren :bow

Rune :bow (Possible. Doubtful though)

Hm... I kinda have a good way for Rolf to show up. Sure it'd be pretty cliche, but it's better than "Hi, my name is Rolf!"

Wren: Haven't decided, nor have I with Rune

Hm...
 

Nadius

Member
Originally posted by Cloud121@Oct 6, 2003 @ 12:45 AM

Hm... I kinda have a good way for Rolf to show up. Sure it'd be pretty cliche, but it's better than "Hi, my name is Rolf!"
Hehe, like what they do in PSII, I get it. Hehe.
 

Cloud121

Member
You saying MY fanfic is evil? Or just fanfiction has a whole? I'm you're just saying mine, thanks for your input :flamethrower: :huh :damn: :huh: :smash :bs :argue :rant :looney :blah :sarcasm: :(

Eidt: I was talking to some friends of mine (the "Gothic" kind of people), and they're all like "Put us in as vampires and we just go on a rampage killing everyone, then you and Cloud face us in a 3 page or os epic battle!" Mike wants the Gunblade (Squall's weapon), and Josh wants the Masamune (Sephiroth's version). Although I'd personally prefer the Dual Masamune that Edge had in FFIV :D But then again, I got Ultima Weapon. I don't need any other sword :D :drool: :bow :bow :bow
 

Nadius

Member
I was trying to get started on your story, Zio Trilogy: Part II. But I struggled mightily. Well I didn't struggle, really. Your story just doesn't have a flow to it. There were many periods. Sentences were too short. You stated too many facts. You need to connect sentences together. Sometimes they seemed to end abruptly.

Might I send you a helpful link?

Conjunctions.

edit: btw, the dialogue is fine, don't touch that. Just fix your narration.
 

Cloud121

Member
Hm... I usually try to connect my sentences, however, I tend to change the subject pretty quickly, so I have to throw in all those periods. Whenever I connect the sentences, I either run on for TOO long, or they're so short, I can just put in a period and it's fine. Also, when you say my story has no flow to it? What do you mean exactly? I'm not upset/offended or anything, I'm always open to criticism. Please state what exactly you meant by that. Are you talking of all the periods and such? The lack of connecting words?
 

Nadius

Member
Originally posted by Cloud121@Dec 8, 2003 @ 02:30 AM

Also, when you say my story has no flow to it? What do you mean exactly? I'm not upset/offended or anything, I'm always open to criticism. Please state what exactly you meant by that. Are you talking of all the periods and such? The lack of connecting words?
Yeah, sorry, that's what I meant. I can't say much about the story, since I haven't really read it all the way through.
 

Cloud121

Member
Uh.... I actually did that once (in a way) with an older one. It didn't turn out right. It was cheesy as hell, and Nadius would've had a nightmare reading it, as there were probably more periods in that, than in my current ;) :lol: It's name? Zio Trilogy Part I..... Heh... there really is no Part I to the Zio Trilogy as of yet. Zio Trilogy is the sequel to my Sephiroth Trilogy. Now THOSE were some cheesy fics....
 

Cloud121

Member
Well guys! It's summer time! Time to work on my fic!

Time to amass all the ideas I've gotten over the past year, and put 'em together!

Hopefully laziness won't get me this time....
 
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